August 7, 2015 - Alex
Third Day’s A Charm
A week ago, I was in the throws of a massive sugar bender and life was looking very, very bleak. I spent the majority of the day on the recliner, (barely) watching shows recorded earlier on the TiVo, and most importantly, not getting anything of value accomplished. Bills were falling behind, my apartment was a mess, my refrigerator was empty, and I was a worthless blob.
Over the weekend, I took the critical step that, for me, is a make-or-break move. I bought groceries. Specifically, I bought plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables (fruit for eating, veggies for juicing), some unsweetened almond milk, salad supplies and more. This crucial step is the one that I always skip, which inevitably leads me straight to failure. Here’s part of the problem. I hate going the store. Even worse, I am not exactly sure why I hate it so much. However, I will admit that there are two factors that most likely play into it. First, going to the store is a replacement for going out to eat. And I like to go out to eat. Woven into this idea is that fact that cooking is work. Going out to eat is fun. Any efforts to skip a trip to the store just means that I get to enjoy my fun food for one more day. Or two. Or a week. Or a month. The second factor behind my market aversion is about money. I’ve spent a huge portion of my life making a lot of money, but spending all of it and then some. Going to the store, for me, is an emotional experience that focuses heavily on the negative. Going to the store often involves checking my bank balance, and having to make the decision – buy $100 in food, or skip the store and buy a $10 meal. I’ll add that the process of estimating food costs when eating at home has always been a pain in the you-know-what. If you’re like me, you’ll go to the store, feeling motivated to “turn a corner”. You buy a couple hundred bucks worth of healthy goodies and proudly take them home and get them in the fridge. If your diet has been particularly egregious of late, you may even take a pic of it and send it to your inner circle, looking for a little acknowledgement that you’ve done something responsible. (Of course, your peers simply think, “You bought groceries one time. Great job. Why aren’t you doing this every week?”) Well, congratulations! You’re cooking, you’re eating healthy, you’re feeling better. Life is good. But suddenly, that day comes when the food you purchased starts to run out. It’s a good thing you bought enough, because it lasted you– Wait, how did $200 in food disappear in 6 days?
Let’s face it. Some of us are just so addicted to food that we turn the other way when it comes to the price of food. Sure, there’s a physical price, and I’ve discussed it at length. But yes, I mean the monetary price of eating right. And I think that uncovers another one of those things that pulls me away from the home-cooked life. I don’t want to have to figure out how to shop for food in a way where I get the most meringue for the buck. (Sorry, turns out that the only food term I could find that rhymes with “bang” was “meringue”. Probably not the best fit for a blog about sugar addiction.) So, bottom line: I’d rather eat out and be blissfully ignorant to the cost (and effects) rather than have to do the hard work of forming a strategy about what food to buy, how much money in the budget to set aside, and determine what recipes are both healthful and bountiful.
If you’re thinking I’m lazy, you’re close. Remember, eating all of that bad food tends to leave me feeling tired, lethargic and unmotivated. I eat well for a week, then I revert back to eating all of the bad stuff, which leaves me feeling too tired and depressed to want to venture back to the store to do it again. I can equate this to another life process: house cleaning. You ever have those days, usually on a weekend, where you just get that crazy urge to clean the house. You spent eight hours moving furniture, dusting, cleaning, mopping, discarding unwanted items, organizing, labeling — the list goes on. Feels great, right? Then, a month goes by, and your home looks like it did before you cleaned it the last time. Turns out, doing the right thing, whether it’s cleaning your house or filling your refrigerator, is hard work, tedious, and generally speaking, not fun. What a bummer. Fortunately, they have services that will come and clean your house. In the past, it was a bit more unusual to have food brought to your house. Now that grocery delivery services are becoming more common, this just might be a solution that didn’t exist a few years ago.
But wait – I’ve buried the lead! Here’s is the good news. I’m on Day #3 of my latest attempt to go sugar sober, and the indicators are looking very good! Today was far more productive that any day in recent memory. I’ve been adhering to a combination of controlled calorie count (in my case, no more than 1500 calories per day), while eating salads and fresh fruit, some protein shakes (made with protein powder, unsweetened almond milk and a banana), steamed vegetables, baked chicken, and lots of filtered water. I haven’t started exercising yet, but I can feel the energy starting to crackle. It’s only a matter of time.
I am encouraged by the signs I’m witnessing.